Psychic Critic: 2014 Oscar Winners

Posted by Wade Sheeler February 14, 2014 4 Comments 3619 views

Last year, on the very day of the 2013 Academy Awards, I awoke from a feverish dream and had my first “full-on” psychic vision. Nowadays, they’re called intuitive “hits.” (I know this because I live in Southern California and therefore automatically believe in Astrology, Mercury in Retrograde, and Chai Lattes). My predictions were 100% correct. Sadly, Editor Brandy Dean, incensed that I didn’t list The Godfather as Best Picture, not just for 1972, but every year thereafter, tinkered with my predictions and nullified them. (Editor’s note: Lies! BD)

This year, the Movie Oracle that gave me my vision a year ago, visited me again last night, and in a move that was very gracious, blessed me with these visions much earlier, so I can lay these on you and you can win all your Oscar pools.  However, in order that Editor Dean does not, again, trifle with my predictions, I’m listing the Best Film of 2014 as The Godfather (even though it’ll be 12 Years a Slave).

These predictions are based, not on who is deserving of the trophy, but who will win. At least that’s what my vision told me, and I’m not one to question the Great and Powerful Movie Oracle.

Here then, are the winners of 2014:

BEST PICTURE: The Godfather

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BEST ACTOR: Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

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This is a tough category, with Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years) offering the greatest competition, PR-wise, and Bruce Dern (Nebraska) representing the sentimental favorite, as he’s never won an Oscar. But, go with the psychic visions, I always say, so put your money on McConaughey.


BEST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock (Gravity)

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Until the whole Woody Allen mishigas took hold, Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmin) was a shoe-in, however, a pedophiliac rift has interfered with the time-space-Award Season continuum, and realigned with my girl friend Sandy’s exceptional space walks, so bet on Bullock, I say.


BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

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The force is strong with this one. No question.


BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)

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The Movie Oracle actually vacillated for a minute before laying the brain smackdown on me, as Jennifer Lawrence, who wins everything she’s nominated for, including Every Married Man’s Freebie, has an outside chance. But Lupita, who not only gave a powerful and stirring performance in her freshman outing, is an Award Season “Darling,” just as Jennifer Lawrence was a year ago. So, she too, is a shoe-in.


BEST DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)

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This could go either way, since 12 Years a Slave is the sentimental favorite and Steve McQueen arguably did the best job. And while Gravity’s Oscar force may have peaked early, the sheer power and responsibility that rested on Cuaron’s shoulders to not only throw every technological advancement at the audience, but tell a compelling story, was achieved.


BEST ANIMATED FILM: Frozen

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Nothing comes close to rivaling Frozen’s boxoffice and little girl affinity, unless the Academy chooses to take the artsy Anime road and give it to Miyazaki’s The Wind Rises. That won’t happen, unless the producers re-release it in the next 5 days in a Sing-Along version. But my predictions are never wrong, so it will go to Frozen.


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Emmanuel Lubezki (Gravity)

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The real winner here SHOULD be Phedon Papamichael (Nebraska) for his beautiful images, but the Academy voters (average age: 23) don’t like that B&W stuff.


BEST COSTUME DESIGN: Catherine Martin (The Great Gatsby)

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My vision was exceedingly blurry at this point, as the other nominee that seemed to dance in my dream’s periphery was American Hustle’s Michael Wilkinson, whose “on the nose” 1970s costume rendering (along with wig work) helped make the film. But the immense amount of costumes (as anachronistic as they were) that Martin delivered to Baz Luhrmnann’s cacophonous monstrosity is the clear winner.


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: 20 Feet From Stardom     

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This category almost always goes to the Holocaust, or other down-trodden cultural specific film, but 20 Feet was one of those rare docs that crossed over into the regular movie going public’s radar, much like Michael Moore’s films.


BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: The Lady in Number 6

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Because Doc Feature will be 20 Feet, the short steals the Holocaust category. This one didn’t even need to come to me psychically. It’s just the rule of the land. Bank on it.


BEST FILM EDITING: Christopher Rouse (Captain Phillips)

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Gravity may deserve the win, since it’s “cuts” are seamless – but the Academy tends to not understand that “less is more,” and so the winner will be Rouse, whose ability to make sense out of Paul Greengrass’ wild shooting style, has saved the director countless times.


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: Omar (Palestine)

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BEST MAKEUP & HAIRSTYLING: Dallas Buyers’ Club

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(You don’t even need help on this one; your other choices are Jackass’ Bad Grandpa or The Lone Ranger, begging the question, did any other film even have makeup this year?


BEST MUSIC: John Williams (The Book Thief)

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Given that the unofficial name of this category is actually The John Williams Award for Best Music…well…you get my drift.


BEST ORIGINAL SONG: Let It Go (Frozen)

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What other song has been trending on YouTube with little girls all over the world singing its lyrics? ‘Nuff said.


BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN: Catherine Martin (The Great Gatsby)

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My Oracle let me in on a little secret: namely, Production Designers form a very tight little clique. They’re the “mean girls” of the Academy Voters, and while 12 Years a Slave’s Adam Stockhausen deserves the win, he’s an unknown in the club. Martin has won twice before and if the PD’s want to keep their Prom Queen in good graces, they’ll assuredly vote for her.


BEST SHORT FILM (Animated): Get a Horse!

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My Oracle was beside herself when recounting the ingenious design and wit of this Disney homage to Mickey Mouse in all his B&W, color and 3D glory. For those who have not seen it, I’m told it is a feast for the eyes and heart. Plus it runs before Frozen in theatres and Frozen has this year’s Midas Touch.


BEST SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION): Avant Que De Tout Perdre (Just Before Losing Everything)

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‘Cause it’s the best.


BEST SOUND EDITING: Oliver Tarney (Captain Phillips)

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BEST SOUND MIXING: The Hobbit

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BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Gravity

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BEST WRITING (ADAPTED) John Ridley (12 Years a Slave)

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BEST WRITING (ORIGINAL) Spike Jonze (Her)

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The very notion of this film is so prescient and timely, that even though the film as a whole was somewhat leaden. Jonze will get the Oscar nod for sheer originality and chutzpah. And that is the word that came from my Oracle, who must have a little Yehudi in her blood.


Use these picks, dear reader, and you will collect your winnings, unless, of course, another player in your pool uses this Hot Sheet as well. Then, it will be a draw, and you have only your Psychic Critic to thank.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the Psychic Critic and do not necessarily reflect Prettycleverfilms or its editor. Unless, of course, they are all correct.

 

 

 

 

About Wade Sheeler

TV Producer & Director, Writer, Frustrated lover of film and obscure music. I still make mixed tapes if I like you enough.

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There are 4 Comments

  1. Brandy Dean
    - February 14, 2014
      -   Reply

    I’m delighted that Wade finally got the Best Pic winner right, but he’s so off on Best Doc. It’s gotta be The Act of Killing, hands down.

  2. - February 14, 2014
      -   Reply

    I’ll be really surprised if Act of Killing doesn’t take it. But crazier things have happened.

  3. Miss Brown
    - February 22, 2014
      -   Reply

    I am sad for Dicaprio that he will lose out on the Oscar again this year.

  4. - March 4, 2014
      -   Reply

    You and I got the same amount right (16) but I disagreed so strongly with the Academy’s choices for Feature Documentary and Animated Short Subject (I thought “Mr. Hublot” was by far the weakest one of the nominees; beautifully animated but breathtakingly boring) that I don’t care too much. I was happy that you were right and I was wrong for original Screenplay since I thought “Her” was the best film of the year.

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